That I Would Be Good
by Specificitydarling
Summary: Santana Lopez was stuck in Lima for another four years at least, she wasn't gonna go and mess it up. The Evolution of Santana Lopez.
1. Freshman Year: We're getting warmed up

**I've been fascinated with Santana Lopez for the longest time, and after reading a couple great fics about her, I thought I'd try my own. It will be 4 chapters (following her years at McKinley High) and an epilogue. I'd love to hear what you think, _so please review!!_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or plot lines created my Ryan Murphy and co. I just write about them.**

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The first time she put on the uniform, she could barely breathe. It was impossibly tight, but that wasn't even half of it. Looking at herself in the mirror, she let out a small gasp. It was only a few weeks into Freshman year, she was way too skinny and flat-chested to be pretty. Her frizzy hair, un-styled, lay messily on her shoulders. But the uniform, it was perfect.

Her mother walked into her room, where the walls were covers with posters of Britney Spears and cute animals.

"Honey, that skirt is quite short. Are you sure you got the right size."

Santana, put her hands on her hips, not even turning away from the mirror. "Mom, it's supposed to be like this!" she said pointedly, before glancing down a little worriedly at her knees. They were a little knobbly.

"Are you sure it's appropriate for school?"

Turning around this time, she looked at her like she was crazy. "It's the uniform, it's compulsory."

This look was not practiced, but it would soon become habit. It was a mixture of disbelief and belittlement, and came with a pout and a raised eyebrow. Her brother always let a mock gasp of terror whenever she gave him the look.

"Besides," she added with a smirk, "It's not like I'm going to be the only one."

This alone, was a miracle. Lima, Ohio, is not exactly known for its bustling Latin American population. Though she wasn't, by far, the only one, she always felt her warm skin stood out like a sore thumb in school. Now, at least, she would have the uniform. Now, at least, she could look the others.

"Alright..." her mother said doubtfully, "It does look nice on you," she said by way of reassurance and left the room.

Getting into the Cheerios was a big deal, mostly because 5 years ago her older sister had auditioned and hadn't gotten in. This was the first time she had ever beaten her sister. Her tall, gorgeous, smart, going-places sister. In fact, her going-to-New-York-for-college sister.

She was stuck in Lima for another four years at least. A fact she regularly reiterated to her diary. It was pink and sparkly and she got rid of it soon after starting sophomore year.

She first met Brittany at the Cheerios tryouts, but she was too nervous to be nice. She stayed in the corner and stretched until it hurt. Brittany was the girl who asked for directions to the tryouts, while standing next to a poster that read 'Freshman Cheerios Tryouts'.

The next day, she and Brittany stood next to each other as they read the list anxiously. Brittany hugged her when she realised that they both made it.

"This is even better than that time I got lost in the mall and they gave me a free ice cream," she said excitedly.

Santana smiled at her, and asked if she wanted to hang out after practice that day.

That was the beginning really, that was when Brittany became her first high school friend. And many days, her only friend. As she'd later learn; having a lot of people in your contact list, doesn't mean that you can call all of them.

The first time she was a bitch, it was to the girl in front of her in the lunch line. She reached in front grabbing the last fruit salad on the tray.

"Excuse me!" the girl turned around. She had awkwardly cut brown hair. And was wearing a plaid skirt and argyle vest. Really, she was asking for it.

"What? You want more food. You've already got a plate full of crap. You keep this up, you'll never fit into a prom dress."

The girl made a face, something between disgust and puppy dog eyes but turned around silently.

"I don't get it, why are we being mean?"Brittany whispered into her ear.

"I got the fruit salad, didn't I?" she smiled triumphantly. Two metres later she gave the salad to Brittany, because she hated fruit salad; the syrup tasted funny to her.

Freshman year was a year of new beginnings, she decided. A year of reinvention. By Thanksgiving she knew what was cool and what wasn't. She knew who she was and who she should be.


	2. Sophomore Year: The goal is to win

**Here's the 2nd chapter, Santana's sophomore year. Sorry about the formatting of the first chapter, I tried to make the different parts clear, but ff kept undoing all my formatting even though I'd saved it. I hope this works out better. Again, please review and let me know what you think. :)**

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In sophomore year, when Ms. Sylvester told her she didn't have to re-audition for the Cheerios, she felt like she had won the lottery. She was finally making it. That afternoon, she pulled down the last of her stupid posters. You couldn't be a little girl and the Captain of the Cheerios.

That was the next step, it was obvious. She was the best. She worked the hardest. She sucked up the most. She deserved it more than anyone.

The next morning, Ms. Sylvester introduced her to a pretty blonde in a floral dress. Something about having just moved to Lima and having done cheerleading at her old school. Santana wasn't really listening, because all she could focus on was that Ms. Sylvester called the new girl "Q", while she was still "Lopez".

That afternoon, she found out Quinn Fabray had been promised Cheerios captain for Junior year. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run home and crawl under the quilt her grandmother had made for her. Then she remembered she had shoved it in the attic, along with all her old toys and dolls. Because only crisp clean sheets were good enough for a Cheerio.

She was furious. Captaincy belonged to her. She deserved it, and Ms. Sylvester was throwing it away to that Barbie doll that arrived in Lima 3 hours ago.

Nodding furiously, she held her head high as she grabbed Brittany's hand dragged her into the nearest bathroom. Brittany was saying something about April Fool's jokes, even though it was September. She needed the privacy of bathroom. She needed to vent; but above all, she needed to keep her image.

She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, breathing deeply. Brittany was rambling on about... maths? Sea monkeys? She wasn't even sure. Hers hands were resting on the taps, as she wished he could just splash cold water over her face. But she didn't spend 20 minutes doing her make up for nothing.

The door opened, and she turned around automatically to hiss at whatever intruder dared to enter.

"This bathroom's taken." She said bluntly, crossing her arms across her chest. In the corner of her eye she could see Brittany do the same. It felt nice to have someone you could rely on.

The girl, ridiculously dressed as if she was the bastard child of a Goth and a clown, glanced uneasily at the open doors of the bathroom stalls and pulled at her fingerless gloves.

"S-s-sorry." She said, looking at her feet which, Santana noticed, were covered with atrocious combat boots.

She laughed, and half a second later Brittany joined in. She laughed because this girl was scared of her, because she stuttered, because her make-up looked like it belonged in the Halloween section. She turned around to look at herself in the mirror. She'd changed so much since last year. Her hair, now blow-dried daily, hadn't seen a flyaway since last Christmas. Her eyebrows were shaped to perfection. She could apply eyeliner in her sleep.

Looking to the side, she saw the girl's reflection still there in the mirror. Staring straight at it, without turning around, she raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

The girl turned around, running out of the bathroom as quickly as she could drag those boots with her.

Santana took a deep breath, her hands smoothing down her skirt.

"You okay, San?" Brittany's voice came from her side.

She turned to look her friend in the eye, and smirked, "I'm perfect." She led them out of the bathroom, taking her place as Queen of the Hallway. That was still hers, and she'd keep it that way.

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By the following week, she had taken her place behind Quinn Fabray. She resented her for getting first place in the school, for her perfect hair she never needed to straighten. For bagging a jock boyfriend within a month of arriving to Lima.

But no one was perfect. She still wrote her secrets in a diary that had scented pages and sometimes enjoyed spending time with her family more than she let on. Brittany had trouble spelling basic verbs. Quinn Fabray would screw up sometime. And she didn't mind waiting for what she deserved.

Besides, the tip was the loneliest part of a pyramid. At least she had someone by her side.


	3. Junior Year: Sex is not dating

**Sorry it took me so long to get this update up. My internet kind of dies, and it took like an hour and 5 goes at refreshing this oage to get it to open :/**

**Thanks to all you who reviewed, favorited and put me on alerts. It's lovely :) If you have any comments or crtique, please do not hesitat to let me know. The little button at the bottom of the chapter should do the trick ;)**

**Hope you enjoy Santana's junior year...**

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The first time she hooked up with Puck, he was drunk and she was pretending to be. It was easier that way, she got what she wanted, but she could still be in charge. And also it was kind of hilarious.

It was at some stupid summer party, which some loser threw to try to be cool. She put on her shortest skirt, and reminded herself that in 3 weeks she would be a junior.

When Puck pulled her into an empty bedroom, she wrapped her legs around him, and tried to ignore that he tasted like beer and dip. His words were already starting to slur, and she was surprised he managed to undo her bra.

It wasn't that bad. Honestly she couldn't even see what the big deal was. She knew her parents would freak out if they knew, but that's why she didn't tell them.

She hooked up with him two more times that summer, and when school finally started she found him in the halls and told him that they were going out.

He shrugged, "As long as you don't turn into Quinn No-Play Fabray".

She rolled her eyes, and walked away, linking arms with Brittany who had waited for her 3 metres away.

She dated Puck because he was worth dating. He was a jerk, but he was hot. And a hot boyfriend got you noticed. Besides, it's not like she had to spend a lot of time with him. Just enough. And anyway, she had the Cheerios and Brittany. It's not like she needed a real boyfriend.

It's not like she needed to hold hands in the hallway, like Quinn and Finn. That was stupid and immature. She knew what the real world was like. And if you needed someone to hold your hand, you'd never make it.

The first time she hooked up with Brittany, they were both wearing flannel pyjamas. Hers had little teddy bears on them, and she only ever wore them when she was with Brittany. Or when she was sick. Otherwise they were kept in the bottom of her wardrobe, in a black garbage bag.

It was the first night of winter holidays, she had been crying, because they had just watched 'My Girl'. It was the only movie that made her cry. Ever. Britt wasn't crying, but she didn't really get it.

"Don't be sad." Britt's voice came from next to her as she felt her hands wind around her shoulders. She was half expecting to be offered a cupcake or something. But nothing prepared her for when their lips joined. Her eyes fluttered open and instead of pushing her away, she found herself kissing back.

Later that night, she lay awake next to a lightly snoring Brittany. She tried to figure out how she could convince Brittany not to tell anyone. How she could convince her that it didn't mean anything? How she could convince herself?

A week later she and Brittany were walking side by side behind Quinn. Heads high, ponytails swishing against their necks; they were queens. Santana suppressed a yawn; she had been up till midnight trying to finish her English essay, and had gotten up at five for Cheerios practice. So many girls on her team didn't care about their grades, but she was different. Not that she let everyone know how much time she actually spent studying; there was nothing wrong with letting them think she was just naturally smart. But they all thought being on the Cheerios would take them places. Yeah, sure, if they meant the local diner. She was going to get out Lima. And she was smart enough to know that no amount of back flipping and pom-pom twirling took you further than a one-way airplane ticket.

After sneering at a freshman for staring at her, she felt something brush her hand. Looking over, she saw Brittany's pale fingers intertwined with hers. Eyes wide, she moved her hand immediately.

"What are you doing?" she whispered furiously, looking around to see if anyone noticed. Though Quinn was half a metre in front of them, Santana hoped she was too self-involved to be listening to them.

Brittany's face fell, "I don't know." She looked so disappointed it actually hurt to look at her. Santana looked away, focusing on the loser students trying to walk by without being noticed. Half of her was angry and half of her was terrified. But it was impossible to forget the feeling of comfort when she first saw their hands together. Before every rational thought came crashing down.

She made out with Puck at lunch, but left early (to his displeasure) to find her.

"Britt, we need to talk," She said, guiding her into an empty classroom and sitting her down on a desk.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked, her blue eyes piercing into her.

Santana shook her head furiously, "I'm not mad. I'm just... I don't think we can – We have to be subtle. You know?"

She grabbed her hand and Brittany looked up at her. She knew something was wrong, because Santana was never one to stumble over her words. She nodded slowly.

Santana looked at her, both surprised and relieved, "It's okay with you?"

Brittany smiled widely, "I love you." She said it so matter-of-factly, it nearly broke her heart. They've said to each other plenty of times. But something told her that this time, for Britt at least, was different.

She smiled lightly, "You don't know what love is." But before she could get a response, she leaned down at placed her lips gently on Britt's.

Five minutes later they walked out of the classroom, Santana looked over at her a smiled widely, before offering her pinkie finger to her.


	4. Senior Year: I'm top dog around here

**Sorry, for the late update. I actually had this written up after the madonna episode (you can kinda tell), but I was waiting to see if anyone else would review my last chapter. To repeat what i read from another reader, it's a bit unnerving to not get any sort of comments on your work; you're not quite sure what to think. So please drop me a comment down below :)**

**For the purposes of this fic, the first season of the show was set in Santana's senior year. **

**There will be another, short, epiloguish chapter after this one. **

**Disclaimer: it all belongs to fox, murphy, brennan and falchuk. Damn.**

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By the time she had started Senior year, she had chosen which school she would be applying to. Both to her parents' dismay and surprise, all of them were at least 2 hours from Ohio, by plane. She had decided that this year was going to prepare her for the future. She started researching career options, and broke up with Puck. Because if need be, he would never be able to support her. He wouldn't even have a brain cells for it, let alone the money.

She would never, ever admit it. But she was so excited when Ms. Sylvester forced them to join Glee club. Only Brittany, and her parents, knew how much she loved to sing and dance. Cheerios was work, not play and sometimes she found herself watching old childhood videos of her ballet recitals and singing songs she made up.

"This is important. We have to find their weak spots and press hard." Quinn told them as they walked out of Ms. Sylvester's office. She had a determined look of her face, one that most people took as being bitchy, but Santana was pretty sure it was born out of desperation.

"It'll be fun," Brittany smiled and they both looked at her with a doubtful raised eyebrow. She turned to Santana directly, "Don't you think? I know you love to -"

"Yeah, whatever. Let's just do this, without wasting too much time. I've got better stuff to do." She cut in bluntly. Brittany looked confused as to why this was a secret, but seemed to accept it.

"Do we have touch them, to find their weak spots? Because that's kind of weird."

She and Quinn looked at each other before they parted ways, and Santana extended out her pinkie finger, Britt accepting it gladly.

She didn't even tell Britt, but she was sure she noticed something wrong with Quinn even before she herself did. Her jumps were off, her eating habits changed. She changed from being the calm bitch to the just the angry bitch.

When she found out about the pregnancy, she was joyous. She wasn't going to tell anyone, but Ms. Sylvester would find out eventually, and there was no way she would let it slide. She could take her rightful place, the place that had been stolen from her hands two years ago. Once Quinn was out of the uniform, she was Top Dog. Once Quinn got slushied and gossiped about, she could walk about the halls without having to stare at her bouncy blonde ponytail in front of her face every day. She could finally think about herself without the words "Second best" flashing in her mind.

The day she was crowned Cheerios captain, she celebrated with Brittany and a six-pack of wine-coolers.

And when she found out about Puck she was both surprised and not. It was so typical of Puck, it was practically written in his definition. But she was surprised that Quinn would give up her model boyfriend for such a jerk.

She wouldn't, of course, hence the lie.

Being single and on top was liberating. Every guy, from McKinley or not, wanted to hook up with her. And why not? She was young, she was free, she was hot. She'd spent years getting here; there was no way she was going to kill it by thinking too hard. But when Brittany suggested she seduce Finn, she had to think twice about it. She didn't show it, of course. But Finn wasn't just some loser. She actually felt bad for the guy, what happened to him.

Still though, the pros outweighed the cons. Which is why she walked up to him and presented him with an argument he couldn't refuse. Everyone knew how he felt about Rachel, but if that didn't work, she was willing to play the Quinn card as well. She saw how he still stared at her and her baby bump when he thought no one was looking.

When he said he didn't feel anything, she wanted to laugh. _Welcome to my world_, she thought. Instead she made him buy her a late dinner and talked about Brittany all night.

"Why does this mean nothing to you?" He asked her suddenly, interrupting her monologue.

She looked at him quizzically, "It's not like it's a big deal," she replied, grabbing a French fry off his plate. Dinner was the only meal she allowed herself to indulge in. Knowing that she could work it off in tomorrow morning's practice and without Ms. Sylvester's judging eye counting her calorie intake.

"Yeah, but why not?" He asked, staring at his glass before looking back at her, "You're the only girl I know who doesn't think s- ... doing it is a big deal."

She suppressed a chuckle; bless him, he couldn't even say the word. "When you know what you want, it's fine to make a bunch of dudes happy in order to get it. Besides, there's nothing like seeing some loser that excited to see you naked to make you feel better about yourself."

He shook his head, as if unable to get his head around the idea, "But what about friends?"

"I have that too," she smiled, mostly to herself as she thought about Britt.

He didn't say anything for a bit, just stared at his plate so intensely she didn't even want to take another fry.

"Can you," he started again suddenly, "Can you not tell Rach- the Glee club about this? Please."

She zipped her fingers across her lips, and threw away the key.

She stood there, frozen, in her graduation gown. It was possibly the first time she had been on school property without her Cheerios uniform and it made her feel awkward. Her parents were talking animatedly to Brittany's parents and Brittany had gone to find her cap, because she didn't realise that you were supposed to throw it straight up into the air.

She couldn't really believe that high school had finished, that in a couple of months she would be out of Lima, meeting new people. People that had no idea what it meant to be a Cheerio, who didn't care whether she ate a pizza or a celery stick for lunch, who thought of singing as something acceptable. There she would be a completely new person; she would make new decisions, spark new interests. She'd let her hair down, wear jeans, do exercise not directly related to cheerleading. She even thought about taking up swimming.

Sometimes, it was as if she had wasted the last four years. Spent them being someone she now wanted to throw away. But it wasn't like that. She wasn't throwing it away, these four years had given her a head start. She knew one thing about herself, which most people went to college to find out. She could be anyone she wanted. Not anything, not that cliché dropped down to every child from their parents. Anyone. Because life was all about choosing who you are and how you show yourself. High school was about being on top, about being number one. It didn't matter how she acted, as long as she got there and stayed there.

"Look what I found," Brittany's voice woke her from her thoughts. She looked over, in one hand Britt held her cap, in the other, which she held out, a pinecone.

"A hedgehog fossil!" she grinned and Santana couldn't help but grin along with her.

"I'm gonna miss you."

Brittany looked at her, sad suddenly, "I thought we were hanging out after this?"

She shook her head, "I mean, in college."

Her mouth formed an 'O' of realisation, but she didn't say anything.

"Honey," her mom walked over, camera ready in her hand, "would you like a photo with all your Glee friends?" She pointed over to where most of the group had huddled; half of them in their gowns, and half of them not. They were just there to say goodbye, and because Figgins had asked them to perform at the graduation ceremony.

The thought hadn't occurred to her, but now that she saw them, laughing and smiling, she wanted nothing more. She wanted to hug them all, even Quinn.

"Yeah, why not." She shrugged, and sighed before she pulled Britt along with her. After all, High school wasn't over yet.

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**Please, please, please review! Thank you!**


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